Cowboy Speak
by Reeves3
Summary: Jessie tries to teach Buzz how to talk like a cowboy during the Wild West time period and get's some assistance from Woody. Takes place a year after Toy Story 2! Enjoy.


**I don't own anything that you recognise.**

**Author's Note: Howdy! Right this is a little something I came up with today while researching how people would speak as cowboys in the Wild West. I GET VERY BORED! Besides need it for writing. :P**

**I got the sentences from this cool site...W.W.W. The Thomas Ranch . Com/ Thomas_Ranch_087htm. *Obviously take out the capital letters an spaces!* Check it out!**

**Woody/Jessie brotherly and sisterly stuff. Buzz/Jessie fluff. **

**Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review. **

**Reeves3. **

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**Cowboy Speak **

**By Reeves3**

"You almost had it,"

"I can't do it,"

"Sure you can. It ain't hard!"

"Yes it is!"

"What are you two doing?" Woody stood in front of his two best friends, Buzz Lightyear and Jessie, as they sat on Andy's wooden floor. It was a rainy Saturday morning and Andy, Molly and Mrs. Davis were away on holiday for the week. Andy had decided to leave his toys behind so he wouldn't lose them while being away. It had also been a year to the day since Buzz, Rex, Hamm, Slinky and Mr. Potato Head had gone to rescue Woody from 'The Chicken Man' inside his apartment and at the end of the adventure they had come home with Jessie, Bullseye and the three little green men.

Walking behind Woody was Bo Peep, Bullseye and Slinky. Mr. Potato Head was slowly walking away from the green aliens as Mrs Potato Head read them a story. Rex was playing against Hamm on Buzz Lightyear of Star Command video game. Hamm was chatting to Sarge, RC was driving around the room and Lenny was gazing out the window.

"I'm trying to teach Buzz how to speak like a cowboy," explained Jessie.

"Which I can't do because it's too hard," said Buzz.

"It isn't hard," said Woody.

"I'm sorry but you two were made to speak like they did in the Wild West. Trying to learn everything you say is difficult," said Buzz. Mr Potato Head ran up to them as he had managed to get away from his wife and adopted children.

"Maybe if you gave your hat to Buzz, Woody, he might be able to get in character," laughed Slinky.

"Nope, because what they say in the Wild West-,"

"Here we go," mumbled Mr. Potato Head, wishing he hadn't come over.

"Don't ever try on another mans hat, it's like getting' on his horse or woman," said Woody. Jessie laughed and grinned up at Woody.

"Oh Woody, your all hat and no cattle," said Jessie. Woody stared at Jessie and lowered his hat, darkening his facial features.

"Here she goes," mumbled Bo.

"Shoot straight and speak the truth!" demanded Woody. Jessie stood up and faced Woody.

"Admire that big horse, but saddle that small one," said Jessie. She pointed to Bullseye and nodded her head in the direction of a My Little Pony that Molly had left in the room. Woody narrowed his eyes at Jessie.

"Being silent maybe your best answer," Woody growled. Jessie looked down at the floor and her hands reached up to play with the end of her braided hair.

"Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than gettin' her back in," she said, quietly. Woody nodded his head.

"Err guys?" asked Buzz.

"Back off city boy," snapped Woody. "Cowboy up or go sit in the truck!"

"What truck?" questioned Buzz. Bo shrugged her shoulders at him.

"That boy is so slow he can't catch a cold," said Jessie. As she put her hand over her shoulder and pointed at Buzz with her thumb.

"Whoa Nellie! You talk slowly but think quickly," complimented Woody.

"Size does matter, the bigger your buckle the better," said Jessie, cheekily. Woody narrowed his eyes again at Jessie and positioned his hands out in front of him and pointed two fingers on each hand at Jessie, pretending his fingers were pistols.

"I'm gonna pump ya' full of lead!" said Woody, angrily.

"I reckon this is gonna hurt a little!" said Jessie. She raised one of her hands and copied Woody by keeping two fingers together, making her plastic hand look like a gun.

"Hold it right there! Now, mover your hand, reeeal slow-like," said Woody. He flashed his Sheriff Badge and Jessie lowered her hand back to her side.

"It's hard to put a foot in a closed mouth," said Jessie.

"Don't worry 'bout bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is bigger'n you think," said Woody. Jessie gaped at him.

"Wet your Whistle," offered Jessie, as a peace offering. Woody suddenly stood next to Jessie and they pretended to be at a saloon bar, waiting for their drinks.

"Give me a stiff one, Barkeep," said Woody. He raised his hand to his mouth and took a shot of whisky.

"Cowboy Coffee aint' safe drinkin'," advised Jessie.

"Don't stop kickin till the clock stops tickin," said Woody, knowingly.

"More Whiskey and fresh horses for my men," required Jessie from the invisible barkeep.

"Never drink unless you're alone or with somebody," said Woody.

"Let's ride!" said Jessie. She grabbed Woody's shirt and pulled him over to Bullseye. Jessie got onto Bullseye's saddle and sat their comfortably.

"She's as pretty as a wagon," said Woody, looking at Bo before trying to climb up onto Bullseye's saddle but Jessie was taking all the space.

"Do it right or get off the horse," complained Jessie.

"Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction," said Woody. Raising an eyebrow at Jessie and she curled her hands into fists.

"The challenge is not always saying what you mean, but to say it with as few words as possible," said Jessie.

"When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'," said Woody. Jessie gaped at him.

"Never corner something meaner than you," said Jessie, menacingly. Woody took a couple of steps back.

"There's many theories about arguin' with a woman, none of them work! Woody you'll never win this against Jessie," said Buzz. Woody and Jessie stared at him.

"Well butter my butt and call me biscuit, he spoke like a cowboy then even if it was just for a second," said Jessie.

"I did?" asked Buzz.

"Yeah, so now that we have that all sorted. I'm going on a date with this fine lookin' lady. What do you say ma'am?" said Woody, putting an arm around Bo's waist. Bo smiled sweetly up at him.

"I've been dreamin' bout it near all my life," said Bo, in cowboy speak, sounding freakishly like Jessie. Woody looked over at Jessie.

"I think we over did it," said Woody, seriously. Bo just laughed and used her crook to drag Woody over to the door and the two left Andy's bedroom together. Jessie got off Bullseye and the horse walked away with Slinky and Mr Potato Head. Jessie went over to Buzz and looked at him.

"Understand it a bit more now space cowboy?" asked Jessie.

"Absolutely partner," said Buzz, with a wink. He stood up and Jessie smiled at him. "How about I teach you some space ranger talk next time?" Jessie punched his shoulder lightly.

"No sweat Buzz, I've already learned from the best," said Jessie. Buzz smiled proudly, but then Jessie did the Vulcan salute in front of him.

"Live long and prosper!" Buzz frowned and Jessie ran to Andy's bed, giggling along the way.

"JESSIE!"

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**Reviews will be much appreicated. :)**

**Reeves3. **


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